Sunday, June 14, 2015

The Incident

Tonight there was an incident that I would like to share.

B and J went to a pool party at a church friend's house. J had a great time and ended up loving the water in his life jacket. From what I understand, he jump, splashed, swam and drank more pool water then they probably want to admit to.

Needless to say, when they came home, they were both pretty pooped. After a very quick dinner, J and B hoped in the shower to get squeaky clean before bed. I assisted B with getting J out and dried off. We did our usual fighting to get him into his diaper and eventually, his pajamas.

I set him down on the floor to let him run around the house. Sometimes he needs to get that last burst of energy out before we attempt to get him to lay down. While he was running around, I thought we may try to get him on the potty before bedtime.

"Poopy in the potty, J?" I yelled as he was storming past me like the little tornado he is. We stopped dead in his tracks, flung around to face me, grabbed his crotch and started screaming, "Potty! Potty! Potty!"

We quickly ran into his bedroom and I took his little shorts off. I barely got his diaper off and he had started looking around his room for his book.

"Book! Book!" All I saw was a frantic hiney zooming from one side to the other.

I was able to locate his "potty book" and he proceeded to his throne. He realized his potty wasn't flush with the wall and bent over to push it into position. And that's when it happened.

Let me remind you of all the pool water he drank earlier at the get together. What goes in, must come out.

As he stood up and began to assume the position, I saw a very watery brown spot on the floor below him. I immediately freaked out and put him on his potty. The potty situation is very delicate. I don't want him to feel like this is a scary place or he's ever in trouble but he had already start the evacuation process on my floor and I felt the need to quickly get him to his place.

Happily seated on his potty, J opened his book and began to look at whatever it is he looks at when he's pooping. He had been sitting there for a solid 10 second when it literally sounded like a water spigot opened up somewhere between his booty and the bottom of the potty. J, naturally being happy with himself, stood up and proudly exclaimed "POOPY!".

What he didn't realize was this poop was so runny, it was still dripping from his hiney. Dripping onto the floor, the potty and, unfortunately, his freshly cleaned body.

"B! Please come help us!"

B came running in the bedroom and found me on the floor trying to contain J to his potty. He stopped when he hit the door as if he ran into a wall.

"What's that sm... What's on the floor?!" It took him a few more minutes of thoughts and half sentences to realize what he had just walked in on.

"Can you please put his towel on the changing table for me?" It was taking him a little longer than normal to come back to Earth. He must have been delirious from the smell because he grabbed the towel and stood in the middle of the room and stared at me like he was frozen to the spot.

"No, please lay it on the table and I'll clean him up" I said as J was jumping up to start the potty dance.

A very weak stomached B said "Way to go! Poopy in the potty!" and ended with a small gag.

Holding J out at arms length, I was able to secure him to the table and begin the clean up process. What I wasn't thinking about was B beginning his part of the clean up as well.

He started by picking up the potty insert and shouting "Oh my God! Look at how much there is!" It really is impressive to see how much comes out of such a little body. He cleaned up the poopy mess that was on the floor and dumped all the cloths in the potty.

I guess the smell was a little overbearing because he sprinted to the bathroom and grabbed the apple cinnamon air freshener and fogged us in J's tiny bedroom.

"You're going to give him a headache", I reminded him.

"It's better than smelling that the whole time."

I was finally able to get J cleaned up and redressed so I could help my queazy husband. I walked into the bathroom and found him gagging his way through dumping the cloths in the trash. Next he moved on to the poop in the potty. As he was standing there, arms stretched as far as they could and hanging onto the potty with his finger tips, I reminded him that the water from the sprayer will splash out of the bucket and on to the floor if he wasn't careful. A tip I learned the hard way.

"Mmm hmm", he moaned without opening his mouth. I knew what he was doing at this point.

"That was a little dramatic but I'm so excited he pooped in the potty again!"

"Mmm hmm", he moaned again.

"You aren't talking because you don't want to breathe it into your mouth, aren't you?"

Small gag. "Mmm hmm".

You've gotta love that hubby of mine. He was successful in cleaning up the potty bucket and was able to decontaminate himself. At that point, we started the true celebration of what had just happened. Like before, we danced the potty dance and high fived and fist bumped our way around the house. J was still dancing before I put him to bed.

But when it was time for him to go to bed and he was saying his good nights, B was a little reluctant to go in his room for fear of the smell.

Seriously, it smells like a mug of apple cider exploded in there.

Just another night at the B's.


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