He didn't understand the concept of receiving candy and not eating it right away. Everytime someone gave him a piece of something, he felt the need to spit out what was in his mouth and eat the new piece.
Sleep is a difficult thing for me. I've only ever slept well two times in my life. One of the times was when I was pregnant and the other time was while I was working night shift. Most of the time I lay down and my brain kicks into overdrive, thinking about all of the things that either need to be done or haven't been done yet. For example, the 3 days worth of laundry that have piled up and need to be folded. That will, for sure, keep me up tonight.
Last night was a different story. Last night, while flicking through Facebook, I came across a story that I couldn't resist but should have tried a little harder to do.
This is the image that caught my eye...
Yup. That's a snake. A snake that just left the Golden Corral. For real, though. That is a python and a guy riding a bicycle on a game reserve in Africa came across him. So what do you do when riding a bike and spotting an engorged python? Take pictures, duh.
Let's take a closer look at his head, shall we?
Yeah, that tape measurer says his head alone is 12 inches long. Hang on, I need to go get new panties.
From live science.com
That's just dumb.
So this is the fate of our little snake friend. Let's call him Larry. So, Larry is a 12.5 foot python living in Africa. Fun fact, pythons can grow to be 24 foot long. So Larry was only half his adult size. Chew on that for a while. Larry was feeling kind of hungry, so he headed over to the African Buffet and had himself a meal. Along came a bicyclist, let's call them Frank, he spotted poor old Larry and instead of pooping himself and passing out in fear, he whips out his camera and begins taking pictures. I'm sure Larry is ticked at this point because who in their right mind takes pictures after eating? Home girl doesn't.
Frank let Larry carry on with his day because, after all, a meal this size can take a python up to a year to digest and they won't have an appetite for at least a month.
Frank then heads to the park rangers and shows them the pictures of the binge meal and snake. The rangers are super excited because nothing interesting happens on a game reserve in Africa, right? They set out to find Larry to see for themselves. After a few days, they find him but he's dead. Apparently, Humpty Dumpty fell off a rock and died. Why, you ask? Well, when they opened him up, they found this little treasure...
From live science.com
Larry's meal had literally killed him. BECAUSE IT'S A 30 POUND PORCUPINE!!!!!! For real.
So a few thoughts come to mind.
1.) Why would you ride a bike in Africa? You will never outrun a Cheetah on a Mongoose.
2.) If a snake can grow in size to half of a transfer truck, I'm jumping ship. I'm serious, if one of these things EVER popped up in my neighborhood, I'd sell my house with everything in it. Well, first I'd pick my dead husband up off the floor because he would definitely die of fear. I sent him this link this morning and responded with "Yeah, thanks for that". He hasn't spoken to me since.
3.) 30 pound porcupines exist?!
4.) How does a python eat something so huge?
The last question got me to thinking so I watched 53 videos of pythons eating their prey. Such as alligators. So scary.
I seriously can't believe this story is real and that's why I had a hard time sleeping. But I refuse to let you suffer the same way I did so I'm offering up a super funny video.
You have to check this guy out. He has a ton of videos that are great but this one is by far the best. Warning, he's kind of vulgar but it's so funny.
Also, Cat fell in the toilet this morning. He actually drinks out of the toilet because J thinks it's hilarious to drop dog food in the water dish. Then the water gets cloudy and has a film. Come to think of it, I'm sure the toilet water is way better than the water in the dish. Either way, he immediately bolted out of the toilet, flinging toilet water all over the floor and my clean uniform.
Tomorrow is the big day! Not only does J turn 2 but he also has school pictures. We've been diligently practicing his smile but today while I was filling out his picture form, I made a note to the photographer that read "When you say 'smile', he closes his eyes. Good luck. 'Show me your teeth' tends to work".
This week is the week of the fair at home-ish. It's actually in the next town over but I can claim it, right? Especially since we started going 5 years ago. Either way, the first night of the fair is sponsored by the hospital I work at so employees and family ride for free.
Seriously, it's crazy.
J loved the petting zoo.
My mom wants this guy.
And J felt the need to touch all of the goats.
The best part about a fair? FAIR FOOD!!
Oh yeah. Steck fries covered in cheese, pulled pork and bar-b-que sauce. Heavenly.
Right before this picture, B said "I can't win this fight alone".
And my little guy is developing so much personality. He now walks with his hands on his hips.
Did I tell you he's moving up in classrooms next week for his birthday? That another sob story for another day.
For now, I have to go deal with the pork, cheesy fries.
Where is Noah and his arc? It has seriously rained for 40 days and 40 nights. The pond in the front yard is so full that the water is spilling into the overflow pipe to keep from flooding out the yard. My main concern? The elephant ear bulbs that I planted this year are going to rot if it doesn't dry up soon.
I felt so old walking up the driveway this morning, complaining about how my bulbs are going to rot.
Either way, all of this rain has brought on some retail therapy. Why not, right? So we bought a new couch and chair. Sorry, 1/2 chair.
Not a great picture but me and B are still fighting over his chair. I think it needs to be retired to the basement and he doesn't see thing my way. He'll come around.