Thursday, April 21, 2016

Fine, Fine, Fine

I've been bugged lately by many people to write another post. I have struggled with where to begin. Being that I can't figure that out, I'll just dive right in. My high school English teacher would be so proud.

First of all....

There's going to be another baby in the B house and boy, has it thrown all of us for a loop. I am excited but scared of having two little ones in the house and feeling a little guilty that I might not have given J the time he needs with us. This pregnancy has also been different than my first. Mainly due to the morning sickness. I had terrible nausea for about the first 10 weeks. No bueno. Luckily, no over the top food cravings that make me want to send B to the furthest edges of the Earth for an sprinkle covered pickle with honey mustard drizzle. I wouldn't say I've had food aversions but when you're nauseas, going to the grocery store sounds like slow and painful death. Also, my OB happily informed me that the second pregnancy is a little more painful than the first when it comes to round ligament pains. Definitely feeling those. Other than that, I'm feeling pretty good.

B is ecstatic about all of it and swears there's a tiny little girl in there. God, help us all if that's the case.

J doesn't know what to think. He thinks the baby is in his belly and it's a boy named Craig. Don't worry, Craig isn't even on the radar for a name. As a matter of fact, we aren't finding out the gender this time either.

This is also going on in our house...

We have finally decided to start on our basement remodel. Didn't realize it would be such a huge undertaking when I said "We should just take this wall down. It would open up the space." Well, then the sheetrock came down, the wires were moved and a structural engineer came in to confirm we were headed in the right direction. After the wall was actually gone, I came to terms with the fact that we weren't turning back. Carpet has been chosen, a screen material for the projector is ordered and the speakers are mounted in the ceiling. We still have a long way to go but I'm happy with the progress we've made and I'm excited to see the finished project.

Oh and J has been potty trained. I'm not sure how we pulled that one off but he wears big boy underwear during the day and a pull up when he takes a nap or goes to bed. Some training material says you should wake your child throughout the night to take them to the bathroom. That's for the birds and J is a human purple Minion when you wake him up.

Yep. That's him. In a nutshell.

So that's where we are. Maybe some bump pictures will head this way soon. It's true what they say. You aren't quite as interested in the second as you were the first.


Monday, December 7, 2015

Adventures in Potty Training

Potty training has been on the mind lately. J was the one to initiate the training to start. He showed me signs that he was ready and I kind of took that and ran with it. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I've turned into a public restroom aficionado. For real. I now know where each and every bathroom is in the mall and I even have a portable potty attachment in my diaper bag for J's little booty to fit on without him falling in the potty.

Let me fill you in on the latest developments. Forgive me if you've heard the stories before.

This past week, J and I went to the mall to do a little Christmas shopping. We headed straight to Old Navy to begin our spending spree. We were walking through the store when J stood up and proudly shouted " I potty!" then, in typical fashion, he whispered "I potty, mommy!". I knew I only had a few precious moments to get that hiney on a potty before the waterworks started. We ran to the back of the store, through the dressing rooms and into the biggest bathroom stall I could find. I whipped out my handy dandy potty attachment, yanked J's pants to the floor, tossed the diaper across the stall in a mad frenzy and plopped him atop the throne. I was checking placement in the back when I then moved to the front to find my worst nightmare. J was peeing but not a drop was making its way into the potty. Instead, it was shooting out of his member, across the top of the potty, onto the floor and all over the stroller. Not knowing what to do, I began a very panicked whine which then set off a domino effect of J and I looking one another in the eye and whining.

I did what I thought I should. I hugged him close and tried bending him forward to help shoot gravity in the correct direction. Just so you didn't know, that doesn't work and actually ended up with pee touching more areas of the stall that I didn't foresee. At this point, J was so frantic, there was no stopping the stream of "pure driven snow". I decided the only way to stop this madness was to use manual force. I decided to manually point him... it... the nozzle, into the toilet. After a dime sized squirt, J was finished with his Bathroom Spray of 2015.

"Yay!!! Pee pee in the potty!", he shouted across the bathroom. We did our usual high five and clapping because, regardless of the horror that just took place, I was super proud of my little man. Then I stepped back and surveyed the damage.

Pee. Everywhere.

There was pee on the floor, the stroller, his pants, my pants, toilet paper holder, seriously, everywhere.  I didn't know which direction to head in first. I took his pants and mopped up what I could from in front of the toilet on the floor and then threw them away. There was no way I was shlepping pee and floor nasty pants around with me all day. I figured I could buy a pair of jeans while I was there to replace what I just took off.

It wasn't until I reached for J to apply another diaper on that I found him running his hands around the toilet seat to flush the toilet. Seriously, every trip to the bathroom makes me want to vomit and then throw him in a hazmat shower. But, unfortunately, his favorite part about the bathroom is flushing the toilet.

I got the diaper put back on, washed his hands, wished the bathroom the best of luck with the next toddler and got the heck out of dodge. It wasn't until I tried reentering the dressing room with a replacement pair of pants that the "kind" saleslady informed me that I wasn't allowed to take the tag off a pair of pants and pay for them later. So, we walked around Old Navy with a half naked toddler dancing in the stroller.

Things have gotten much easier since then. For example, he wore his Thomas underwear all day today without an accident. We even ventured out to the store and no issues. But I came prepared with a plastic grocery bag and change of clothes.

He's even developed a new habit when using the potty. He likes to flush the toilet and then says "Have a good day, potty!".

This story and potty training session has been brought to you by Appleton Estate Reserve Rum.

-Potty Expert

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Family Time

 Tis the season for Christmas movies. Normally, I would hate the idea of Christmas movies before Thanksgiving but tonight, this happened...

We all ended up on the couch to watch How The Grinch Stole Christmas (cartoon version) and the first 45 minutes of The Wizard Of Oz. And J sat through both!! 

Also, did you notice his bear friend? That is his new sleeping mate and I think it's adorable! Thanks, J and K for bringing him into our lives!!

-One Happy Mamma

Friday, November 20, 2015

Two Thoughts

I've pretty much given up on my New Year's resolution. Can you tell?

So here are the most recent thoughts/adventures I've had.

1.) I took J to Walmart a few days ago to do the Thanksgiving shopping. I suggested we host. What was I thinking? I had to make a quick bathroom stop before we got too far in and I found myself almost wetting myself on the toilet paper isle. Happens every time. Anyway, it crammed J and myself into the tiny stall and prayed he wouldn't touch anything before we were done. When I was finished, J looked into the toilet and excitedly screamed, "Yay, Mommy! Pee pee potty!". Of course the bathroom was full and I heard all of the other giggles. Thanks, J.

As we were walking out another mom and little boy entered the bathroom. J was pretty interested to see another boy in the bathroom too. So much so, he squatted down on the floor and proceeded to look under the stall wall. Awesome. 

2.) I took a shower by myself for the first time in two years a couple of nights ago. Well, maybe not 2 years but it has been a good couple of weeks. You know what I realized as I enjoyed my empty shower? I suffer from PTSD. Crazy, I know but I couldn't even close my eyes to rinse my hair for fear that a tiny finger was going to be jammed in between my toes, sending me into a sensory overload freak out. I was a complete nervous wreck. I took a shorter shower than if J had actually been in there with me. Pathetic.

Hello? Pre-mommy life? Where did you go?

-Still Suffering

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Oh, Dear

So this is why I don't leave the boys at home alone very often.

Have fun with that, Mom.


Monday, November 9, 2015

Hello, Friend

I haven't felt in the posting mood lately and I apologize for that. I've spent a majority of my time inside (because of the 40 days and 40 nights of rain) with a 2 year old who has exploded out of the sweet, pleasant, happy child closet and into the wild blue yonder of the terrible twos. To be totally honest, I've been so annoyed by our current "phase" that I can't get my mind in a blogging place. 

Tonight that changed. Tonight, Maw Maw heard our cries for help and took our little shmoopey for the night. 

Before we had J we would think of something to do and say to each other " let's do that tomorrow night" and we would. Now we look at each other and say "let's save that for when we turn 50" even if it is bowling. We get so excited about the next time J will be away and start planning that mystical day. Then when the day does approach us, we have planned so many things, we don't know what to do first. Tonight was exactly that. 

I spent the whole day thinking of where we could go to dinner and what we could do after. B did the same. So when he came home, we found ourselves sitting in the kitchen, trying to decide what to do with our night of freedom. For 30 minutes. 

We decided on dinner and the mall.  

Then Walmart for dog food that wouldn't make the dog sick every time she ate.

So much for a wild night. I guess Maw Maw will just have to take him again.

At least we got shoes out of the deal.

Thanks, Mom.


Tuesday, November 3, 2015

In A Nutshell

Trick or treating was a blast!

There's a part of me that is impressed and at the same time, I'm not. B is pretty prone to projects much like this one. But this is the first cardboard box project.

The down side? He has to top this next year. Good luck, B!